Before You…

Did you mother ever say, “Talk less, listen more” or “You can’t just speak anything that comes into your head…THINK first!”  Mine did.  As younger people, we have all made incorrect assumptions, made hurtful judgments, hurt others and we’ve all spoken before thinking.

Before you assume, learn the facts.  Before you judge, understand why.  Before you hurt someone, feel.  Before you speak, think.  ~Unknown

When we make assumptions, we are making up stories in our head.  And they tend to be negative stories.  And negative stories in your head will make your life miserable.  Train your mind to not assume the worst.  Learn the facts before making assumptions.

I remember the time I had called a friend over and over again on her cell phone and she had not returned any calls.  So I began sending her texts.  None of them were answered.  So I began to make up a story in my head that she must have gotten mad at me over something I said and she was so mad that she was never going to speak to me again.  So, this story became my reality and I stopped trying to contact her.  I had called and sent texts over about a 3-day period.  At the end of the third day, my land line rang.  My caller ID said that it was my friend.  I picked up the phone and was about to say something really smart, but she just burst out, “Oh thank God I got you, friend.  I was riding a couple of days ago and Shiner (her gorgeous quarter horse) jumped a ditch and my phone flew out and fell about a foot into muddy water.  It took me forever to find it.  I tried the oven thing…and I thought it was going to work, but I wound up having to get a new phone…Charity are you still there–?”  All of this was said really fast and I don’t think she had taken a breath at all.

Well, yes, I was there.  My heart was full.  I had made up a terrible story, made myself believe it and that negative story was all crap.  I was crying.  I apologized for my feelings and told her I’d never assume again.  She told me how grateful she was to have me for a friend.  I prayed really, really hard that night.

Everyone you meet is fighting their own battle.  Every. Single. Person.  Don’t judge.  Seek to understand, seek to get to know a person first.  There are reasons we are who we are.  Don’t judge someone just because they don’t fit into the mold you think they should be.  We only have one judge in life.  Let Him do it…He is much better at it.

Our words and actions have the power to destroy lives.  Choose them wisely.  Try to put yourself in others’ position.  Think about how you would feel if they said or did to you what you have said or done.  Life is short.  Love people.  Don’t make assumptions, seek to understand, treat everyone with compassion and care and always, always think before you speak.

Sending you blessings of love and gratitude from Sterrett, Alabama!

Charity