Grief is a terrible thing. When you lose someone you love, your heart is broken, you feel lost, you feel disconnected from the rest of the world and you, at times, feel hopeless.
You may experience a range of raw, hurting emotions. Shock, anger, disbelief, guilt, and profound sadness are all normal emotions during the grief process.
Your physical health can also be affected. Loss of sleep, eating too little, eating too much, not eating at all, not being able to think coherently are physical factors which co-exist with the emotional factors.
There’s is no right or wrong way to grieve. We are all very different and we deal with grief very differently. How you go through grieving depend on many things, including how you cope, your faith, the significance of the loss, your life experiences and other things.
What we have to keep in mind is that grieving is a process. For some, it is a shorter process than for others. But it does take time. There is no way to force your way through the grief process–you can’t hurry it up. There is no time-table that you should follow to get through the different steps of grieving. Some people start to feel better in weeks or months, but others grieve for years.
The important thing to keep in mind is that you must be patient with yourself. You have to let the grief process naturally happen. That’s the only way you can begin to feel better.
One of our followers emailed me the other day. She was talking about the loss of her husband. She told me how some days she was perfectly happy, that she would laugh a lot with her grandchildren and be able to function normally. She called days like these her “sunshine days”. But she also said, “There are some days, I think I smell that clean soap smell he always had or I see something in the barn–a saddle, one of the horses I know he would have loved, or I think I hear him call my name.” She called those days her “dark days”.
As I was reading the email, I thought he must have been gone only a short while, so I asked how long ago she had lost her beloved. She said, “Twenty-six years”.
Give yourself time. Be patient with yourself. And pray. When you need to cry, cry. When you need to scream, scream. And never let anyone tell you that there is a time-frame for grief.
Sending you prayerful blessings of love and gratitude from Sterrett, Alabama!
Charity M. Richey-Bentley
Thank you thank you, people have been telling me after the celebration of life, I can heal now. I cant I had one of those dark days today, I lost my husband 12/19.i still dont think I’ve come to terms with him being gone. I feel like I haven’t grieved.
It will feel as if you will never stop grieving. But eventually the grief will take the back ground, and memories of the good times,laughter and love will come forward. Your loved would not want you to be sad.
Sudden and unexpected divorce leaves you feeling the same because it hurts just as much, especially when the other person is just up the street.
Thank you for writing this, it has already helped me. I lost my wife 28th January last your and its has been a rough time. Every thing you wrote has happened. and with the help of my church friends I have to get back to before she went to be with the Lord. My Christian Faith has been a great help. I know It will never leave me but I will handle it better as I go forward. Thank you this means so much to me and my family
Some days the grief comes in waves other days I’m ok.
The code:TODAAT-Take One Day At A Time
I have lost my husband. It will be 2 years in March. I miss him so much. I have some good days but it is not a day that goes by that I don’t think about him. I cry a lot .I go to see him every week.
My mum died 13 years ago this month I’m still grieving and my dad died Oct 2013 still grieving and my eldest sister died 6 weeks after dad it’s hard every day I smile at the memories but on certain days, months its really hard
Thank you for this. I have lost both my parents in the past three years. My daddy in 2017 to Parkinsons and dementia. I just lost my Mama in June 2019. She had Lou Gehrigs Disease. I am but a shell of a person left.
Sending you love and peace. If you can think of a sweet or funny story about them – something you can tell others so they can see them through your eyes – that helps a bit. I also found that doing something in their name also helps. I started a small garden in front of my house. Tending the soil seems to heal the soul. I hope some of this helps you. Again, sending love and peace, honey!
I just lost my Son, September 22, 2019. He was 43 from Colon cancer, he was in the Navy for 19yrs, yes I scream and holler. I pray a lot. I have my good days and bad days. Thank you for sharing this.
Hello! I’m 34 years old. I lost my mom 2 years ago last month (January 4th) of stage 4 aggressive cancer. It was one of those rare cancers too. 1 in every 200,000 got it. It was neuroendocrine tumors (NETS) and she was 56. I recently lost my grandmother this past November. She was 83. They say she died of congestive heart failure but I think it was because she had a broken heart for a long time after losing my mom. I think & swear sometimes that I see them or hear them or even feel their presence around me. I found out I was pregnant 6 days prior to the first anniversary of my mother’s death. I was excited but saddened at the same time. My mom wanted grandbabies but never got them when she was alive. My grandmother wanted to stay alive long enough to see my daughter born. She got her wish & 3 extra months after to spend with her before she passed. I believe my mother and my grandmother are both with me and my daughter daily. I catch my little girl staring off into whatever past me & starts laughing & smiling when I turn nothing is there. I believe my mother and grandmother are there visiting.
My son was murdered almost 2 years ago by a Ukraine woman he bought to this country when his business started to profit she murdered him and took over his business. My life has changed drastically since for me life has no meaning, when he died I died also there are days when I questioned God, because hi s faith in God was so strong, there were days when he tried to have a ‘come to Jesus’ talk, So how could God allow such harsh death upon one who had such belief and strong faith ? this I know I do not wish a loss of a son so dear on any mother I am alive but I am dead life as it is has no meaning
I am so sorry for your loss. I know it’s hard, but DON’T GIVE UP. You are experiencing the worst
Kind of pain there is, but God is with you. Never forget that.
I am lifting you up in prayer.
Charity
This is so right. We lost our 2 day old infant 47 years ago this past January. To this day, I have waves of saddness come over me, yet, I know where he is right now. It gives us one more reason to make Heaven our Home. Blessings ~
I pray that God keeps you close.
Charity
That is so true 💜
Yes I’am grief so bad I just loss my husband 1month and 2days but it feel like yesterday I also loss my mom 4yrs ago and I still haven’t got over that yet i try to have some good day but for the most part I crying my self to sleep every night and wake up crying I will be going to talk with a therapist.
I am so sorry for your losses. May God give you comfort.
Charity
I grieve along side of you Charity.My husband has been gone 4 months and 13 days. He passed away only two weeks after his diagnosis of cancer . I can’t bear to look at his photos yet. I miss him so much.
We were married very young and I never realized how hard and lonely life would be without him.
But it is good to cry and it helps let all the hurt and fear out. I believe in The Lord Jesus and know that although I carry this grief, He carries me.
Trust in Him, He will comfort you.
I understand why my life is. The way it been going. I have loved all of my family that are in heaven. So pray as much as go through each DAY ♥️🥀♥️each month and Years.♥️🥀♥️I feel my heart it’s now with loneliness. Yet I enjoy the silence. It gives me more time for pray and thinking if how happy my Son made my days second’s minutes hours of his company.
There were always more happiness laughing teasing great jokes. What the last 17 days that Dave, my handsome Son .Why🥀I just crying with feeling. Your with all my other Angle’s. Your with the very best. ♥️Your with all your soul mates. ♥️I know your there you made it♥️🥀♥️. When God says it’s my turn. I know I will be with you and all of our family souls. We will be together again. I’m sorry for your loss. I just wanted to say we are not different, I what we have been dealing with. It’s processing. Amen to all of us.🙏Another change in Life. WE where lucky to Love♥️Thank my Neigh bor. Paul this a great text you sent me. Both you and Krissy have been great. Sending blessing g to you both. ♥️God bless Amen.♥️
I lost my dad 3 years ago in October and now my wife and besr friend is dying of stage 4 cancer. They gave her 6 months the week of thanksgiving 2019. Our daughter and I took her on our last family vacation 2 weeks ago this Friday and she is now really going down hill. She has been in bed since Friday night and isn’t eating anything. Hospice told me yesterday that she is declining fast. We have been married for 27 years on may the 14th. And been together for 32 I don’t know or think of what I’ll do when I loss her. She’s always been my rock.
Sending you love and peace. If you can think of a sweet or funny story about them – something you can tell others so they can see them through your eyes – that helps a bit. I also found that doing something in their name also helps. I started a small garden in front of my house. Tending the soil seems to heal the soul. I hope some of this helps you. Again, sending love and peace, at this difficult time.
True because I can’t get over my love one !!!
I understand. I am keeping you in my prayers.
Charity
I lost my 24-year-old son Evan on March 14, 2019. He was born on March 1, 1995. My son did not get the chance to get married or have children if his own. I feel cheated. I feel lost. I feel so broken. I cry for him everyday. Sometimes I get angry, because he died. I get angry at God a lot. I feel like I am losing my faith sometimes. I believe in God, but I find myself questioning my faith. I have been seeking proof of life after death. I have searched for videos and pictures of spirits leaving the body after death. I hear my son’s voice and I feel him sometimes, especially when I am sad. I tried so hard to save him. I did CPR until the paramedics took over. I did not know what happened to him until one of the police officers asked me about a burn on his hand. My son was electrocuted in my front yard. He did something so stupid. Something I know he knew was dangerous. Why did he do this? I just don’t understand. They rushed him to the hospital in an ambulance, with a police escort. I had to write a statement before the police would allow me to go to the hospital. When I arrived at the hospital, my oldest child Leesha met me at the door. She was looking out for her baby brother until I could get there. She told me that the doctor’s believed he was brain dead. My daughter would not allow them to stop life savings measures until I was there to make the decision. I walked into the room where my son was and gasped. There was so many people working on him. There was wiring and equipment everywhere. I could see that they were trying to save his life. The doctor told me he was probably brain dead and asked me to make a decision. I asked them to stop CPR and check one more time to see if his heart would beat on its own. It didn’t. I told the doctor in a low voice to let him go. They stopped everything they were doing and pronounced him dead at 5:07am. I fell on him and screamed “Oh my baby.” I sat with him for a long time. My daughter never left my side. A lot of my family was there. They came back to say goodbye to Evan. It was so peaceful sitting there with him. I wanted to donate his organs, but I was told that they couldn’t be donated. I wanted at least a little part of him to live on, but I couldn’t even offer life to someone else. It seemed like such a waste. I love my son so much. I just don’t know how to move on. I do have 3 daughters. 6 granddaughters , a wonderful husband and many more supportive family and friends. They all pitched in to help me bury my son. We gave him a great send off. His funeral was full of love, laughter and tears. I hope he was able to watch how much we loved him and still do. I have a lot to be thankful for. My youngest granddaughter was born on September 12, 2019. My daughter named her Bevanee after her brother. I loved that she did that to honor her brother. I just hope that someday I will hurt less and the memories of Evan bring me more joy than sadness.
Oh, thank you so much for sharing with us. I am so, so sorry for your loss. And you will hurt less. You have to believe that. Believe me, I know it is so hard. But God knows your pain.
I love you and I am praying for you.
Charity
Teresa, I am so sorry to read of your terrible loss. I lost my 17-year-old daughter on 12/12/2015. The circumstances are twisted and dark. She was gotten drunk my an adult who was looking to take advantage of her. She ended up in a truck with 5 other friends. The person driving the truck lost control and my precious baby did not survive.
All grief experiences are different I’ve found. I loved my daughter and her brother who is well, more than anything in the world. I am still haunted that I could not be there to hold her hand and tell her how proud of her I was and how much I loved her. I know, they tell me she died instantly and didn’t suffer much but I still have this silly idea I SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE. It’s now been over four years and I still have some very dark days. I share your pain that she was just really starting out and in a year shed be in college and starting her adult life. Rhiannon was very beautiful on the outside but she was far more beautiful on the inside. She was a wonderful person. Has horrible as this has been, I’d go through it a million times just to know her for a beautiful 17 years.
I wish you, hell I wish us all, PEACE!
God gave you the gift of your granddaughter after losing your son. God always sends a blessing in disguise. I hope you find peace and find joy in your family.
May God help you to find peace within your heart I can’t imagine losing one of my children My daughter was diagnosed with breast cancer and had to have a mastectomy as well as 3 months of radiation therapy I pray for your son Evan as well as you and your family God Bless You and give you the strength to get through this difficult time of your life
It took me years to get over my husband’s death. I still think abt him almost everyday. With time, it gets easier. But it never totally goes away.
I am so glad to see this. I have had more than my share of losses in my 71 years of life. I always try and share with people when they are suffering a loss. This is so what I try to get through to them. And sometimes you just need to sit with them in silence. Being there speaks volumes. I really want to thank you for all you are doing. I look forward to seeing and sharing each day. Blessings to you all. 🙏❤️
We lost our only daughter Nov 16 2016.She had pursed college to be high school english teacher.She was diagnose with rare lung disease at age 25yrs and fought it till 33yrs.I went in that Sat.morning to wake her as and she had passed in her sleep.I can not get that out of my mind as her father and PCA for last 21/2yrs.
My boyfriend, Mike, died from cancer on Oct. 29, 2018, only 4 months and 2 weeks after being diagnosed. Although we only dated 10 months and 5 days I can’t get past the pain of losing him. We met 15 years ago at church and saw each other off and on in those years. It wasn’t until seeing each other again in 2017 that we really began talking to each other. I knew from the start that he was the one that I was meant to be with. We became inseparable in that time. If we weren’t together, we were on the phone. I was on a family vacation when he was diagnosed. When I found out, I came straight home to be with him. The last 2 weeks of his life, he pushed me away. He had told me that he would NOT let me watch him die. He had watched his mom die and he didn’t want me to remember him that way. He was dying but protecting me up til the end. My faith has really taken a hit with this. I KNOW I am a Christian. I believe everything in the Bible. I know Mike is in heaven and out of pain. But I am mad at God for taking him from me. I was 41 when we began dating and had never been in love. Mike and I loved each other. We were going to get married and have a family. Now he is gone. Why did God do this? Am I such a bad person that God is punishing me for something? Why did He have to take Mike? I have asked God for forgiveness for my feelings but I still question Him about this. I hurt so much and don’t know how to even begin to heal.
I truly understand. Was just thing of my beloved Charlie, Mom, Dad, Brother and StepMom, as well as many other close friends and/or family members. I grieve even all the years later for all of them. Almost every night before me prayers. They enter my mind off and on through out each day unexpectedly. God wink moments happen often without warnings.
My husband of 40yrs who loved me more than anyone loved me. He sacrificed his health to serve his country. He was a 100% disabled veteran. I miss him so much. I’ve been through alot of really hard times in my life but this is the hardest. The Lord is getting me through the grief some days are better than others.
I hold on knowing I will see him again 💕
I lost my mom 3 years ago February 4, 2017 it is hard sometimes. It is still hard on her Birthday holidays and her death day Mother’s day it is hard.
I too grieve from time to time but this is not about me. A friend of mine lost her husband tragically 3weeks ago, he was taken off life support and when he cc’d transitioned on 1-29-2020 his Heavenly Birthday was Feb 5th. His Homegoing Service was Feb. 8th 2020, she is now I presume going through the phases of grief. Her mom and sisters are with her. I hope she will seek grief counseling but I guess that’s a step she will have to decide. Praying for her soul 🙏
In the last 9 years I have lost my wife of 48 years, my two daughters and two brothers but I keep pushing on for my youngest 11 year old granddaughter who lost her mother last march.
I have experienced most these things since my wife of 47 years passed mar 23 2018,It has been very hard,I am 81 years old and in good health I try to stay as busy as I can and it helps but at night you just cant get it out of you mine that she is gone far ever.I thank God and my sister and her family,friends,and my Dr.Ford Gessler clinic,Winter haven Fl.
My grief is heavy since my husband passed 6 months ago. The hardest part is the loss of all friends and family during the illness and death. I felt at first it was hard for anyone to watch the progression of the illness and felt bad for them also. I realize now the place in everyone else’s life wasn’t love of family and friendship – the less available I was for anyone else the less I was in their in their life. This is the saddest part – I’m pretty independent, but feeling so invisiblable is lonely.
I lost my husband a year ago in Jan and feel dead inside, l try to hide my pain from others but it just feels like my world is gone, nothing is the same now I feel so empty inside,
I lost the love of my life over 30 years ago and my dad 25 years then my mom 20 years ago then my Sister 15 years ago then my brother 2 years ago I still miss them all and she’d tears for them all it doesn’t matter how long ago it still hurts they were a part of you and you never forget them
Please pray for my cousin Laurie who recently lost her son. I believe she’s having a hard time with his death. I’ve never lost a child so of course I don’t understand how it feels. But I pray for her and her daughter’s that they find comfort and peace in God in the coming years. I do know from the loss of other family members it just takes time and it does get a little easier, but we have to trust God in His infinite wisdom to guide and direct us to that peace of mind. We must understand that it is God’s will that death occurs and a debt that we all will one day have to pay. Christ died for us. Do we want our family to suffer and go through the same pain that we take ourselves through. Grieve if we must but not as if we have no hope our hope is in Christ. Keep praying and believing, all is not lost.
I still grieve the love of my life. It’ll be three years in May. Sometimes the pain is so bad that I’m paralyzed. And other days are bright days and I am enjoying my 90-year-old mom and my 22-year-old son. It really just depends on the day. But God is helping me and time is a great healer. I will never get over it but I will get through it. I pray that I will meet him again in another life. This is what keeps me going.
At 6 monthes which is now, the hurt is starting to feel horrible I lost my husband August 19,2019. I am starting grief therapy next week I thought I could deal with it on my own, it’s just to hard.
My husband passed away June 11,2018, he wasn’t sick , he died in his sleep . I never got a chance to say good bye . We were married for 51 years and we did everything together (farming) you help me and I help you that’s what we did . I’m finding it so hard with out him , nothing is the same , there isn’t a day that goes by without a tear. We still had lots of plans to do things but it is no more. When I’m shopping I even hate seeing couples our age , how come they get to be together. It’s hard to visit with friends and sometimes even family . I don’t know what it feels like to feel good it’s been so long ago . The first thing when I get up I have a second that it’s all ok then I wake up, thing are normal , but then it goes to reality . councillors go by a book that you should try this or that , I’m not a lazy person , I loved to cook , it’s hard to cook for one I know I don’t eat properly . But I don’t care, I just go from day to day so I get old and die to .
I lost my husband almost 10 months ago. It hurts just as bad today as it did the day he went home to be with my lord and savior! I know he is in no more pain and for that I am truly grateful! My chest hurts so bad sometimes I cannot catch my breath!
Hello I lost my Husband in 2018 AND IT STILL HURTS DEEP IN MY HEART his name is Donald Jay Stratton my VERY BEST FRIEND😢
Grieving is definitely a process that unless someone has also grieved has no idea how it affects someone and it affects everyone differently. I lost my mom 10 years ago and just lost my dad January 1st 2020. I am totally grieving differently for him than I did for my mom. My job doesn’t understand my state of mind right now and my boss is like ‘you had the 3 days now get your mind back in the game. It’s not quite that easy. I needed to read this.
Grief never leaves you. Be grateful for the options of having many loving memories. Nothing prepares you for the reality of this process.
Ii lost my fiance 10 months ago and its been very hard for us (grandson & I) he was the only father figure my grandson had my heart hurts for him everyday that he’s not here to help this young man. I lost my only Son just about 1 year before losing my fiance and my little sister 6 months before him plus Mom 1 year before losing my little sister.
I am having such a hard time trying to process all this within my heart and mind. All I can do is pray for healing to a very damaged heartache. What hurts more is the pain my grandson is going through, since losing my Fiance we have been homeless which has him worried about where will we stay how many more people do we have to live with before I can find an affordable home for us being on Disability and not having the financial help we had with our loved one that passed can take a big toll on a person and those left behind.
It’s been a long 10 months especially when landlords evict a family from their home they had for 11 years because a name wasn’t on the lease I fought the courts as much as I could to hang on to our home with not much time to grieve for my loss. Crying myself to sleep worring about where to go and where to get help this world is full of greedy people with no thought of how much a person can afford with little income. I have used the resources to be able to find help and I’m told we have to live in a shelter and I’m not going to do that to my grandson he deserves a place to live where he can feel safe. I’m 1 person in disability and can pay rent just not a lot when I have to consider electric and heat plus good and other bills. It is not easy but the loss is far more painful there are questions unanswered like why, how could this happen to a family and why is it so hard to get help just to live. I’m a great person and just want to see my family in a home where we can be happy again and not worry where we are going to sleep. I haven’t slept in a bed for over 3 months and with my back disability I’m in constant pain and have been struggling to do just my daily routine. Having a young boy going through puberty and school (he’s doing the best he can). If it wasn’t for God I don’t know what we would do, he comforts my soul and only giving me what I can handle.
Thank you so much I needed to read the message. I lost my son six years ago to a drug overdose and I cannot believe he is gone. I still look for him to come through the front door or call me. There is never a day that goes by that I don’t think of him and then the pain hits. I see him lying on the floor dead and I see him being carried away by the police, I see him in the casket and I see him being lowered into the ground. Why my son I ask God, why didn’t God take me and let Bevan live. I would have gladly given up my life for him. I cry everyday and am saddened by the loss of him. I pray that Bevan is in heaven with the Lord and that belief is the only thing that comforts me. I don’t believe that I will ever bounce back because it hurts too much and I feel I failed Bevan as his mother.
I lost my son almost 6 months age and it still feels like yesterday. He was a very healthy man and then all of a sudden he got sick and passed away one week later. He left four children. Two of them are teenagers and then he had two more children one turned 4 on the day his rosary and other turned 2 on December 23.
The hard part about him dying is the fact that his widow will not let us see the little ones. Right now at this time I need them so much because they are a part of my son. I feel like she thinks that she is the only one who lost someone precious. Not only did I loose my son but I also feel like I lost my grandchildren.
Teresa, your story has brought me to tears, both for you and for the memories it stirred in my heart. We too lost a son and although it was 18 years ago the pain is less but the sadness remains. Know that Evan is with you and cherish the subtle signs that appear to let you realize there is indeed an afterlife. May your faith and your family and friends sustain you.
Yes, I know what it is to loose a loved one. I have gone through it many times in the past few years. I am the only living one of my complete family. All my brothers and sisters and most of their children are gone. It is a sad thing to loose a family member. I lost my wife in ’08, now I’m alone. You never get over just one but I have to deal with many. It is very hard but we have to go forward and try to survive what life has bestowed upon us. Day after tomorrow, I’ll be 88 years old! Soon there will be no more of the Original Holland family. Hopefully, my grand children and great grand children will carry on the Holland name with the pride and dignity we have carried throughout the past many years.
I met the love of my life at 15 , and we were together 46 years. He was my soulmate, my friend, my partner in raising 4 wonderful children, and the kindest person I ever knew! When he was diagnosed with cancer, he said, “I’m not worried about me, I’m worried about who will take care of you.”
He was a physician and knew what to expect. He truly loved his family, occupation, and religion. Shortly before he died, he told me I was the best thing that ever happened to him. I’m having such a hard time accepting his death and going on without him. I hear a song that we loved to dance to and sob. I thought I was strong enough to deal with this on my own, but I’m not. I started therapy and hope it helps me go through this painful journey. I Feel his love surrounding me always!
I feel your pain. I am lifting you up in prayer.
Charity
I lost my baby boy today. I’m numb.
I am so, so sorry for your loss. May God hold you close during this difficult time.
I know that there aren’t any words that can be said to help you.
But know that I am praying for you.
Charity
I lost my husband two months ago. We were together 45 years and raised a family. He died of cancer and kidney failure. I cared for him at home which was hard in many ways. It bothers me that I feel at peace. There are triggers that make me cry, but I don’t cry all the time. He is in my thoughts day and night, but I don’t always cry. I miss him and living alone is hard. We did everything together. I miss the good times and there were a lot of them. I just feel like my grief is unlike a lot of others.