Love the people God gave you,
because He will need them back one day.
~Unknown
It’s been kind of an emotional weekend for me…
Some of you may remember that my professional training is in Public Health. I’ve worked in the non-profit world for more than 30 years until January 2014 when I officially created my company, The Horse Mafia. Although I’ve always lived with horses, it wasn’t until then that I could create the company and my professional life could be merged with my personal life. J
The last 16 months have been fast and furious. Literally. But, I’ve loved every minute of it. Every. Single. Second. I now can say that “I love what I do and I do what I love”.
So, how do these thoughts relate to an emotional weekend?
Can you believe that I still had not cleaned out my office in the medical office building that I left 16 months ago? Well, believe it. Not because of laziness—I don’t have a lazy bone in my body. Not because I had not had the time because I did. Not because I wasn’t physically able to do it—I knew I would have help for the heavier things.
There were two reasons: 1) Every time I thought about it, I felt bad. I would immediately feel a little depressed, a little bit down. My heart would skip a beat and I would feel a little bit afraid. If you know me at all, I don’t really get that way about much. So, every time I felt that way, I would push whatever thought made me feel that way to the side. I would absolutely avoid any ideas of getting my office cleaned out; and 2) I think I was holding onto it as a security blanket. What if my company takes a nose dive? Well, I can always go back to directing my non-profit, right?
The very thought of cleaning out my office was like a black cloud over my head for 16 months. I’m the one that is always preaching to “let go of anything that brings you down”, “stay away from negativity” and “if it isn’t good for your soul, you need to let it go”. Yeah, that’s me. I let it stay in my heart for 16 months before I finally did something about it.
You want to know what finally made me do it? My mother, daddy and husband. In the words of my mother, “the sooner you put this part of your life behind you, the happier you are going to be”. And she was right. Of course she was right. What in the world was I thinking, letting it go for so long?
My husband also played a very large part in making me ready. He said, “Honey, let’s just get it done. You’ll never have to think about it again. It doesn’t matter how well The Horse Mafia does. You won’t be happy going back to that life. Let’s get this chapter closed so that we can move on.”
He was right, too. So, he went and got a U-Haul reserved and became the rock of support that he has always been for me.
On Saturday, my 90-year-old daddy, my 75-year-old mother, my husband and I loaded up and went to my office to clean it out. And clean it out, we did. Every piece of furniture. Every desk and credenza accessory. Every piece of paper. Nothing left.
I had told myself I wouldn’t cry. There was really no need to cry. But, I did. Not in front of my family. I made a few trips to the bathroom and let the tears fall. Not because I was sad to be closing my office. My tears were bittersweet. I felt a HUGE relief. A huge burden had been lifted. I was finally free from the ball-and-chain that was keeping me from living fully in the moment. Closing the office was like putting a lid on a jar. All wrapped up, sealed and ready to store. Please don’t misunderstand me. I loved my non-profit work. I am sooo grateful for all I learned and all I was able to achieve. But, creating The Horse Mafia was the realization of a life-long dream. A no matter what happens, living this dream deserves all of me. That means I can’t let my past professional life hold onto me. I have to put it to rest. And, now, I have.
I don’t think I would have taken this step now without the “urging” of my family. God, what would I do without them? They knew I was holding on, not wanting to face the final step. They wanted me to think that I was in charge. But, really they were in charge. They wanted me to think that I was leading the effort. But, really they were leading the effort. They took charge and I was just there to say where to put things. J They closed ranks, circled the wagons and got it done. I will forever be grateful. Sometimes, your family and friends have to help you do things that you wouldn’t otherwise be able to do.
These are the people that you have to LOVE beyond measure. They are your rock when you aren’t so strong. They motivate you, inspire you, make you stronger. They are the people that remove the road-blocks on your path to fulfilling your dreams when you don’t even know the road-blocks are there. And, you know what? They aren’t always going to be here. At any second of any day, they can be taken from us.
Love the people God gave you, because He will need them back one day.
Blessings to you!
Charity & The Horse Mafia
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