I always try to look for the good in others. I want to believe that there is goodness in everyone. That everybody has a good heart…that everybody wants to help others…that everybody wants to see others blessed.
For the most part, I believe that it’s true. I believe that most people have some goodness in them. However, as I have gotten older, I’ve learned that evilness and goodness cannot co-exist in a person. One of them will win out every time and will dictate their human’s behavior and actions in life. I use the word, ‘evilness’ just as a comparison to ‘goodness’. Because if you aren’t a good person, what should you be called?
In our today’s politically correct society, we are constantly told, “don’t judge” or “you have no right to judge” or “only God can judge”. But, I also take to heart the saying, “you can judge a behavior without condemning a soul”. I can’t really say what makes a person good or bad. Neither can you. However, you can look at a person’s actions and determine whether or not their character is good or bad. And it is something you should do. You always need to know just who it is you are keeping company with…
You ever have something in your mind or your heart that kind of strikes you the wrong way and it won’t go away? You see something a person does or hear something they say and you think “hmmm, that doesn’t feel just right” or “that could have and should have been handled differently”. Listen to your gut. Listen to your heart. They are trying to show you who that person is.
I’m not talking about minor things. I’m not talking about what clothes someone wears or their table manners. I’m talking about character issues. How they treat people, are they inclusive, do they handle others with kindness, do they bless others, are they reactive, do they take the high-road, do they encourage others, are they uplifting, are they jealous, are they controlling of friendships or relationships, etc.?
If you see someone do something that’s negative toward another or hear someone say something that is negative about another, you are being given a glimpse of their character. Don’t think they are just having a bad day. They are showing you who they really are. If it comes out of their mouth, it is in their heart. Pay attention. And trust your gut.
Don’t get me wrong. I believe in second chances. I believe in new beginnings. I also believe that you have to stand for what is right and if that means not giving someone a second chance, so be it. God tells us we must forgive. He does not tell us that we have to stick around for more of the same.
If you ever find yourself in a situation where your gut tells you to disassociate yourself, listen. If you feel like you need to disassociate from a friend or friends, do it. If you see something in a person, don’t wait for them to show it to you again. Once is enough. Believe them the first time.
When someone shows you
who they are,
believe them
the first time.
― Maya Angelou
Blessings to you!
Charity
Beautiful article!! Thank you. Sharing this on both my fb pages.
Beautiful article!! Thank you. Sharing this on both my fb pages.
I have used this quote before too…it is very important and sad to learn at the same time. theburnedhand.com 🙂
This is spot on. I unfortunately stayed my mother a few yeats back, already knowing she can be very hurtful. But i was moving far away and it was the last time i could see her. Her adopted sister was in town who isn a person with a kind heart. She can be a very nasty vile person. Long story short, y husband told me the 2nd day that we were there visiting, "honey i know you are really happy and excited about our mive ans seeing our new he that we just built fr scratch for the first time, that you mot able to see what is going on here at your moms, but they're are not being nice people and i don't feel welcomed, we should cut the visit short". I say, oh no nonsense maybe your reading touch in to this and being sensitive. Well he said leaving before you and you should reconsider. He was so right and i wish i had followed his advice. These family members sarted drama and i had to uo and leave fast. I have a 3yr old so i want him to be around nice happy people. It eneded ip being the worst visit ever and i saw the true colors of 2 people i never wanted to see. Sad but there are some very nasty cruel people out there
Even if is family you never deserve to subject your self to this. I was in such a good place they i didnt want to see the bad and its not worth confronting. Just exit.! One good thing from all of it , is i know with out a doubt i would never treaty children this way amd i never have to worry about them every treating me this way ory children because i have complete control over that. Glad i had a safe place to share this. Felt good to say this. Thank to whoever or if ever anyone reads this!
This is spot on. I unfortunately stayed my mother a few yeats back, already knowing she can be very hurtful. But i was moving far away and it was the last time i could see her. Her adopted sister was in town who isn a person with a kind heart. She can be a very nasty vile person. Long story short, y husband told me the 2nd day that we were there visiting, "honey i know you are really happy and excited about our mive ans seeing our new he that we just built fr scratch for the first time, that you mot able to see what is going on here at your moms, but they're are not being nice people and i don't feel welcomed, we should cut the visit short". I say, oh no nonsense maybe your reading touch in to this and being sensitive. Well he said leaving before you and you should reconsider. He was so right and i wish i had followed his advice. These family members sarted drama and i had to uo and leave fast. I have a 3yr old so i want him to be around nice happy people. It eneded ip being the worst visit ever and i saw the true colors of 2 people i never wanted to see. Sad but there are some very nasty cruel people out there
Even if is family you never deserve to subject your self to this. I was in such a good place they i didnt want to see the bad and its not worth confronting. Just exit.! One good thing from all of it , is i know with out a doubt i would never treaty children this way amd i never have to worry about them every treating me this way ory children because i have complete control over that. Glad i had a safe place to share this. Felt good to say this. Thank to whoever or if ever anyone reads this!
This is spot on. I unfortunately stayed my mother a few yeats back, already knowing she can be very hurtful. But i was moving far away and it was the last time i could see her. Her adopted sister was in town who isn a person with a kind heart. She can be a very nasty vile person. Long story short, y husband told me the 2nd day that we were there visiting, "honey i know you are really happy and excited about our mive ans seeing our new he that we just built fr scratch for the first time, that you mot able to see what is going on here at your moms, but they're are not being nice people and i don't feel welcomed, we should cut the visit short". I say, oh no nonsense maybe your reading touch in to this and being sensitive. Well he said leaving before you and you should reconsider. He was so right and i wish i had followed his advice. These family members sarted drama and i had to uo and leave fast. I have a 3yr old so i want him to be around nice happy people. It eneded ip being the worst visit ever and i saw the true colors of 2 people i never wanted to see. Sad but there are some very nasty cruel people out there
Even if is family you never deserve to subject your self to this. I was in such a good place they i didnt want to see the bad and its not worth confronting. Just exit.! One good thing from all of it , is i know with out a doubt i would never treaty children this way amd i never have to worry about them every treating me this way ory children because i have complete control over that. Glad i had a safe place to share this. Felt good to say this. Thank to whoever or if ever anyone reads this!
This is so true.Why allow people in your life to continue to be negative towards you,disrespect,never cares to be around you when you need them the most,never seems to care about how I may be feeling and never or rarely wants to communicate.I could complain more but what good would that do.I just laying low and see what happens. I'm just too nice. That's the problem!!!