Grief is a terrible thing. When you lose someone you love, your heart is broken, you feel lost, you feel disconnected from the rest of the world and you, at times, feel hopeless.
You may experience a range of raw, hurting emotions. Shock, anger, disbelief, guilt, and profound sadness are all normal emotions during the grief process.
Your physical health can also be affected. Loss of sleep, eating too little, eating too much, not eating at all, not being able to think coherently are physical factors which co-exist with the emotional factors.
There’s is no right or wrong way to grieve. We are all very different and we deal with grief very differently. How you go through grieving depend on many things, including how you cope, your faith, the significance of the loss, your life experiences and other things.
What we have to keep in mind is that grieving is a process. For some, it is a shorter process than for others. But it does take time.
There is no way to force your way through the grief process–you can’t hurry it up. There is no time-table that you should follow to get through the different steps of grieving.
Some people start to feel better in weeks or months, but others grieve for years. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you are grieving too long. Everyone’s grief process is different.
The important thing to keep in mind is that you must be patient with yourself. You have to let the grief process naturally happen. That’s the only way you can begin to feel better.
One of our followers emailed me the other day. She was talking about the loss of her husband. She told me how some days she was perfectly happy, that she would laugh a lot with her grandchildren and be able to function normally.
She called days like these her “sunshine days”. But she also said, “There are some days, I think I smell that clean soap smell he always had or I see something in the barn–a saddle, one of the horses I know he would have loved, or I think I hear him call my name.” She called those days her “dark days”.
As I was reading the email, I thought he must have been gone only a short while, so I asked how long ago she had lost her beloved. She said, “Twenty-six years”.
Give yourself time. Be patient with yourself. And pray. When you need to cry, cry. When you need to scream, scream. And never let anyone tell you that there is a time-frame for grief.
Sending you prayerful blessings of love and gratitude from Sterrett, Alabama!
Charity M. Richey-Bentley
Thank you for your words of comfort. Mommy passed just this April 13th, an Easter Monday after reaching 100.
My beloved husband of 55-years went home to be with the Lord on April 13, 2030. It was only 7-months ago that his 95-year old mother-in-law died. My hear hurts over these great loses.
I’ve lost so many people it’s unbelievable, thank you for ur kindness in this post
God bless you.
You are in my prayers.
Charity
I just lost my daughter whom lived with me in December and I am grieving and feel lost and pissed off because she put up one helluva fight to stay here and was so young but cancer took her at 39 years old
💧sad to hear of your loss
I lost 3 family members month after month I still grieve I don’t want to go on without them sometimes what should I do I try councel meds what else is there.
Hang on to your FAITH in God, there is no easy answer ,and there is no one who understands the Pain, we are going through, the Pain of the loss especially with 3 Family members gone so soon Try to remember the good times spent with them and Bless the memories they left you with .Time heals the pain, eventually, but their memories will never leave,us.
I try and remember the good times but it hurts worse and makes me question my lord and I get angry and I feel bad about that. I don’t know what to do!
My Patty left this world April 5
2019
God bless you. You are in our prayers.
Charity
I encourage anyone looking for some sense in our losses to try GriefShare. I attended because I remained angry, hopeless, weight gain then loss as well as all the above. It’s small groups with a $15 investment for a workbook. No charge for attendance. I didn’t think I would last to the end but I did learn to forgive others and myself.
I agree. My mother sometimes teaches it in her Church. It has helped a lot of people.
Charity
Hi My husband of 55 went to Heaven 20 years ago and I don’t miss him. It’s as though he is with me all the time , I feel his presents and it helps me to know he’s not suffering anymore and he’s happy and the journey continues.
Your words are very calming.
God bless you.
Charity
My dad passed away this past June. No day has ever been the same. Sometimes I am angry. Other times I cry. I just don’t always know how to feel. He was my dad. I was close with him. To not be able to talk to him hurts so bad.
❤️ I know what you are going through, I lost my dad, partner, and best friend in April… His birthday is Saturday…
I sill miss my family
Lost my only child, #1 son in January, 2020! My days aren’t the same without him, I’m so lost – he was my life! He came before anyone Or anything! I was always there for him, didn’t matter when it was! Miss talking to him, seeing him, hugging him,etc.! It hurts so much, I cry alot for him!
MOM MISSES AND LOVES HIM VERY MUCH ALWAYS, THINK OF HIM ALL THE TIME!!!
Lean on Jesus! HE is the only one that has walked me through my grief. Four sons and my husband of 44 years. Jesus knows our pain. His Father God went through the same pain when He sent His Son to earth. Also, you remember “Jesus Wept” so He understands our sorrow.
In Christ’s Love.
I still miss them
GOD BLESS YOUR MOM.
Just what I needed this morning. My husband has been gone five months. I do exactly as you say. I have very good days. Bad days. I know he is in a better place and out of pain. That helps me. He suffered enough.
YES GRIEF IS NOT AN ILLNESS. and we do not.. just get over it.. but WE DO LEARN TO LIVE WITH IT.
Thank you very much for that reminder Sandra. A blessing for me today
I agree mine has been gone 25 years but it seems like just yesterday that he passed away
My husband died 17 years ago I read his letters and than I hear him speaker the words.He lived all wild life so when I see ducks or
in flight it is he sending me a message to fly Free
esee
I no how u feel
I lost my wife 6 months ago so I know what you are going through I know you will get through this
I know the pain of grief.. I lost my son at The very young age If 27, 18 years ago. And the pain still exists. My younger son is now missing in Mexico. He’s been missing since December of last year. My heart is broken into a million pieces…
Grief is hard but a process that we all must eventually go through. But losing your children has to be the hardest of all😪🙏💕
Hello, Darlene,
I agree with you 100%. My son died almost two years ago–Thought I must be the only one who still screams until I read this article! Definitely feel better now. I hope and pray your younger son makes it home soon. I only had one son. God bless you in the days ahead an always–we will always grieve until we leave this earth to be with them. I recently found a song I like–my son taught me to love music–in good times and in bad. It is “Write me a letter from Heaven” by Tim Shetler. The lyrics explain some of the emotions I have had during this time–very well indeed! Hope you enjoy it.
My son passed May 30 of this year. I can hear him as he comes into a room saying Hi Mom. It’s so hard to think of Life without him. I am thankful he didn’t have to suffer too long as he had bone cancer. My heart goes out to you and I understand your grief. Bless you.
My 2 brothers passed away 42 days apart my mother never was the same but neighter was i it was 27 years ago can’t wait to see them again
I know u are right. I list my beloved son in Jan. 2002. He was 36. I miss hi. Every day.
I hear your pain. You are in my prayers.
God bless you.
Charity
I already left a comment in the comment section but I will leave another one I just wanted to thank you for your kindness and the pieces that you publish they are so heartfelt my husband of 55 years left 8 months ago and it’s not easy and I do as you have said in the piece that you published and I take everyday one at a time and I don’t listen to people that tell me I have to stop and get over it cuz you can’t have a good day be safe and healthy God bless you
I lost my only son about 4 months ago and I don’t know how I ever made it to Florida from WV for his celebration of life and his military funeral…..Everything from the cop coming to our house to tell us that our son was gone is all just a blur….Then a few weeks ago it hit me and I cried for a week and I screamed and I couldn’t eat or sleep, but I know that I have to be strong for my grandson,he’s 3 and he was my sons world and he is so devastated because his daddy was his hero and he is so mad at his mother!!! I live with the hope and faith that he will be living here soon!! I know that I will be grieving for the rest of my life and the only hope I have is my sons mini-me,my grandson 💔💔😥😥🙏🙏
So hard seek god he’s the answer to any sort of help with this hugs
Going on three years. A group called GriefShare helped tremendously but I noticed a phenomenal change when I realized I needed to find “me” again and to depend on “me” to walk through the fire and ice. Don’t lose yourself in your grief.
God bless you, I lost my husband of 54 yrs, n it’s not an easy journey, but I know that God holfs me in the hollow of His hand . Stay strong, God will give you the strength to make it through!!
Amen. Stay strong in the Lord.
You are in my prayers.
God bless you.
Charity
My sister was killed when I was 25 she was 30 somebody her over 7 times. I had to identify her body and now im 48 my mom died 8 years ago from COP D, And I don’t remember my father he was also killed when I was 5 somebody wanted his money and beat him up very badly I guess I don’t Remember much about that but that was my family. I wonder why I’m still here I must have a purpose In life because I’ve almost died 6 times but I was always brought back sometimes I wish I could be with them in heaven, But I have a child He is 18 years old doing very well in life but he is staying with his dad during this time I just think it’s best. This is affecting me so badly because I’m all by myself I just wish so much more that my family was with me today like everybody I hear them say I’m living with my mom or I am living with my dad or They’re all stay with all their family members, getting on with life with their family. They have no idea how lucky they are. I try my best to give my son the best holidays he can ever imagine but when it comes to holidays for myself I’m forgot about what can I do cry scream yell punch walls just to anything to take the pain away . I don’t know how much longer I can take this all I know is it’s taking a toll on me in such A horrible way. I use to miss my family a lot, I miss them 10 times more now. What I would do to have one day with my family what I would do.
I am so incredibly sorry for the pain that you are going through right now!! It sounds so overwhelming! But please don’t give up! There are people out there who care and will pray for you!! Remember… this to shall pass.
I feel so much for you. I hear a real desperation in your writing. I have no words of wisdom. Just cry out to the Lord and ask for His help to hold and comfort you. He is real and He is there. He will take your grief and give you a purpose for your days.
Thank you so much for being here.
God bless you.
Charity
Seek counseling right away and step into a heartwarming church that hugs you. You my friend have so much to offer this world Become so busy you don’t have time to think about much at all. This is a survivor telling you step into a church that is heartfelt warm with love hugs
I lost a son 15 years ago and a daughter almost 5years ago. I hope I will see them again but it is some thing we will never know. I miss them but I feel they are watching me. Your love ones are watching over you.When you think of them or when you cry just close your eyes and you can feel that they are there. I know it sounds crazy but try it. Try to believe there is a reason for everything,I tell myself that every day. Hope to see you at the golden gate one day.
6 year’s ago today and sudden after married 55 years. Thank you this was so helpful to me and I’m sure so many. A hard day but with Gods help I’ll get through it once again ❤️
True words. I lost my two boys and my husband. People keep on telling me “forget the past and live for tomorrow, but there are days you cannot forget.
This is exactly what I needed this morning. I just loss my husband, April,17,2020. Ever since he was diagnosed with colon cancer, in Nov 6, 2019, I will always remember that date, cause that was the day our lives had changed forever. I have good days & Bad days. But all of my 1st holidays without him, are going to be very difficult. Birthday, Anniversaries like our 1st date to our Wedding Anniversary. Halloween , he always liked Halloween, decorating the Aptmnt, to handing out the candies to see all the costumes, Thanksgiving, Christmas. I know he’s in a better place. He’s no longer suffering & in pain.
I needed to read this today I lost my son on 8-16-12 then on 1-30-13. Five months later I lost my dad. We never told him his grandson had past. And then 4 years later. We lost our mom. It’s so hard especially when my son birthday is 5-6-75 forever 37 miss him so much
My husband has been gone almost 2 years and I have the same good days and bad days. It will be 2 years on May 14th. I know when he is near our anniversary clock only chimes when he is letting me know he is in heaven and with the lord and all of the family that has gone over are all safe and happy. I know he is better off there. We were together for 52 years and our love will never be away from me and I am glad he is no longer suffering in pain,and we will be together again as the Lord has promised.
I don’t belive you ever quit greiving.You just get use to them not being there.
No you don’t. That will never happen
Almost 32 years,since my son,, like yesterday.
7 years since 2nd son, was yesterday,,
5years since my mum,, I’ve not even moved,
Husband 11years ,,
I cant move for grief, I’m stuck,,
Any suggestions appreciated,,
In remission from cancer,,
Lots of side effects from trauma,, I’m dead inside,,❣
I understand the loss. My husband husband has been gone for 5 years and 7 months. I am so thankful that I have so many good memories of him, my 3 children and my 3 grandchildren. God blessed us with 45 wonderful years together. Whenever I feel lonesome, I think back and instead of sadness, I am happy.
Lost my Mom 26 years ago then both of my sisters way too soon! I still want to tell them things my grandkids are doing or someone else in the family! Fill the hole in your heart with good things you remember and the blessings that came to you because of having them in your life. Time does make it easier but never takes it all away! I am so sorry for your loss!😔
Thank you for this. My mom past 14 weeks ago and today would have been her birthday. She was my bestest friend. I took care of her failing health for over 15 years. Nothing seems to ease the pain of my broken heart
On May 2nd, my daughter would have been 29 yrs old. It’s been 10 years since God took her home, but for me it feels like it just happened. Grieving is a day to day process. Some days are better than others. Blessings sent your way.
I just lost my husband of 34 years on Apr 24 2020
My emotions are all over the place. There are no good days mostly bad days, lost.r
I lost my husband April 26, two weeks ago……my emotions are all over the place. I’m so lonely, I’ve never lived alone. We were married fifty seven years.
Thank you for the encouragement. I have been told some of the same things. God Bless you for sharing.
Yes my sweet husband Chuck Amen is going 427 days and each day I look at his picture and wonder how did this happened he was heathy I know God is holding him in his arms and l’m holding him in my heart . Miss him so much each day when I kiss his picture I think is this possible but it is . God please give me strength. Amen
I lost my daughter on 04/11/2020. I’m alright most of the time but,I just brake down and cry at different times. I rejoice that she is with the Lord. The crying is because that I miss her so much.
This is me my husband passed almost 3 years ago and days I am missing him.
I lost my mom in 2017. Some days feels like yesterday then recently lost my friend my ex mother in law and my aunt all in one week it is so hard when you lose someone
Its been almost 9 years since my husband went to heaven. I miss him every day. I miss rhe way he held me and hugged me. Tell me he loved me.
Thank you. My son passed away a little over 2 years ago. Lately I have really been depressed over his death. I know one day soon we will be together. Not a day passed I don’t think of him. Just wishing he was still here but he was very sick and in pain. He is now pain free.
Thank You 🙏
I lost my Mom who was my best friend, last year in August! I Miss Her Dearly! I’ve been so depressed since then that I’m paralyzed! I can’t seem to get off the couch! I know that life goes on but my life has stopped during this time! On top of it all I have medical disabilities and had to medically retire at 50 which hasn’t helped the situation because I loved my job of working with adults/students with special needs! Luckily, I have an incredible husband who’s understanding and does everything in his power to try and help me!
This article is THE TRUTH! It takes some people longer then others to grieve and no one should ever be given a time limit by others! We all have good days and bad!
Thank You Again For Sharing!
(PS) I Love Your Site!
My husband died 9 years ago.You go through all those feelings.April was a hard month for me he died on April 3rd.I go through that in april.May is memorial day and I decorate his grave.June is are anniversary. so I have 3 month in a row that is very hard on me.I don’t think you ever get over grieving you just learn to go on with your life one day at a time.p
My husband has been gone just about five years. I have dark days also. But my children keep telling me to get over it. They don’t understand. They haven’t lost a spouse.
I lost my husband 4 months ago. I have to make myself get up sometimes; others I am ok. Still haven’t cleared the bedroom yet. I go in there and feel like the walls are closing in.
I’m 77 now and I married the love of my life at 21 in 1963. In 1966, our 1st child was born, but died hours later, a girl I named Wendi. Why, I don’t know, hubby had them keep me in hospital until he had the funeral thinking this was better for me. WHY don’t know to this day. It doesnt take much, even to this day for memories to come back, and the tears come. Spouse won’t talk about and hasn’t explained to this day, why he excluded me and left me without closer. I talked to docs about it, but they say closure will and/or maybe not ever come. So when the tears come, I cry, sometimes for hours, then dry the eyes,try to ease the memories and keep mind and body busy. What I’d like would bring the memories in but not fall apart. Talked to a couple docs but can’t put it away. Maybe some day
My husband transitioned on April 21st.
Thank you for the encouraging words.
I feel those feelings; disconnect, abandonment, sadness with all the Good memories and regrets.
My son Daniel went to Heaven when he was only 18 years old. That was 15 years ago. My heart will only heal when the good Lord calls me home.
This is all very true. And if I might add one thing. You can avoid dealing with the death for a long period of time however that only prolongs the inevitable. And when you do finally start to process your loved ones death it will be as if you started back at day one even if it’s been 10 years. I know this to be fact. I avoided dealing with my daughters death for more than 5 years and when I finally gave in to it it was 100000 times worse. It’s been 18 1/2 years since my daughters suicide and to this day I grieve. It hasn’t gotten any better although there are some days believe it or not that are worse.
I know exactly what you are saying. My husband has been gone 17 years, and I still miss him on special occasions.My very special friend just passed away 6 weeks ago. We were companions, and I was his care giver.it’s hard.thanks for letting me say how I feel, but that’s just a marr in it.
I also needed to see this. My beloved 19 year old son died in October from sudden cardiac arrest. My heart aches for him. I have sunshine days and bad days too.
Monica, I lost my son (54) Feb 24/20. He was such a good man and a wonderful son. Mornings are the worst. I wish every day that I could just see him and hug him just one more time. My heart aches
May God comfort you and keep you close to His heart.
God bless you.
Charity
I lost my husband to cancer November 25th 2016 I went through so many emotions I even thought I saw him I lost all my hair I didn’t have anyone around me to help me through this. In my life it will be 4 years and November and I miss him very very much we were together 22 years there is not a day that goes by that there is not something that reminds me of him and I still love him very much I’ll be riding down the road a song will come on the radio that he used to sing and I just bust into tears you’re right there is no time limit on grieving until you’ve been there you’ll never understand
My husband died unexpectedly on April 4, 2020, this helped me so much. Sleep is sometimes not my friend, especially on Saturday nights; some days are better than others, but because there was no goodbye, no last touch; it seems unreal. I am grateful for this post to remind me that my feelings are normal and my grief is mine.
4 months ago he left . I have ups and downs. Never did I think I would feel this way . I had 2 years to prepare for his death I new I would be alone and knew I would miss him but never believe it would be this bad. But this virus has keep me as well as other captive. Memories all around and no way to leave them for a minute.
My son passed May 1, 2020. He had many disabilities and needed help for everything. Adam was the center of the family. His Dad and I have not left his side, for nearly 35 years we’ve been together. We are grieving. I’m in shock, his Dad breaks down at every turn. There are parts of Adam all over the house. It’s so hard.
My husband passed over 4 yrs ago ! It was a fast death. Went to hospital on 1-5-16 and he passed 1-13-16 from CANCER! I feel the same way as everybody else ! Good days and bad days ! But Thank GOD my good days outweigh my bad days! If not for GOD it would have been a whole lot worse! So I praise him for his mercy and grace forever!! 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
Today marks 1 year my momma left us I miss her everyday there’s days I still need her days I feel her near me it’s all not the same anymore I love and miss you momma
One month ago this Sunday July 26 2020 my wife ( Jean ) passed away. The feeling of lose is very hard to explain and the grieving process is hard to explain. Every one that has lost a Dear Loved one goes through grieving differently. Especially the longer the two have been together.
You are so right.
We all grieve so differently. There is no set timing by which grieving should be complete.
Don’t let anyone tell you that you should at any time be through grieving.
It doesn’t work that way.
You are in my prayers.
Charity
The frustrating thing is that those of us grieving understand this. It’s those in our lives That think we should be done that need to hear it.
I’m hoping some of those who “need to hear it” can hear it here too.
God bless you.
Charity
My father died a year ago. I didn’t cry. All I know is when he was alive I gave him all I had my time and love.
I lost my husband 1 and half yrs. ago and still haven’t had a good cry I don’t know why I cant cry maybe I would fell better
I lost my dear husband of 32 years 5 months ago today. Although he had cancer, we thought the tumor was inactive. He went so suddenly and unexpectedly. 5 minutes after his cry for help he was gone. No sweet words, no last touching moments. Thank God I kissed him and told him “I love you” about two hours before. This is exactly how I feel!! The good days are coming closer together but some days are so dark I just want to stay in bed!!
I loss my husband on march 31/2020 to cancer it is the most difficult time of my life we were together 49 years he was my life having a hard time dealing with.
I am lifting you up in prayer right now. May God hold you close in His arms and comfort you.
Charity
Sorry for everybodies losses. Prayers to all of you🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽. It’s not easy when we loose our loved ones, or friends. I’m in the same loss as all of you. My 28 year old daughter was killed by a DD, 2 days after her older brother’s bday, this 1-5-2021 will be 11 years my baby was killed. Case still opened n unsolved. There isn’t a day that goes by, n I cry or hurt all over. Both my sons moved to 2 other states, shortly after their sister’s death. That makes me sad too!! Both my parents, Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, n Friends are all gone. There is nobody having any Bdays, Holidays, family times n no doings of anything!!! I do what prayers I can do but I’m still lonely, sad, and dealing with poor health problems, n can’t have “No serious surgeries, due to this covid-19, n nobody wants to operate on me. Thank you all for reading my text. Take your times on missing your loved ones, cry, scream, don’t make hasty decisions, n know we all will see our loved ones when God is ready for us all!!! Love to all.❣️❣️❣️😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇
This is our first year with out my mother and all we have is memories. And there is alot of memories in our hearts
I usually bypass posts from those I don’t know. But, I saw this and began reading it and began weeping. I lost by precious husband on 2/2/2020, just after our 10 year anniversary in January. He was the most loving and selfless man I have ever known. I can say that I know the love of Jesus more than before because of how he loved me. We went through a lot of cancer, surgeries, and parental deaths during our 10 years. But I wouldn’t trade one day of it. He was so perfect for me. I rely of Jesus every single day. He holds me up.
You are in my prayers. I can hear your love for your husband.
God bless you.
Charity
I know exactly how the women who lost her husband 26yrs ago feels. I lost my husband in 2000. I still have think about him alot. Grief is a strange thing. When you lose someone who has been there for you and always had your back, it’s hard to get over it. I know that we will be together again someday. Same thing with my son, I miss him so much. I never thought I’d be burien my child, but I did. I can still see his smile, laugh, and our conversations. Grief never goes away, you just learn to cope with it. Always will be in my heart.
Thank you.
My “heart” will always be “sick”.
I know how you feel. Just remember, God is with you and will never leave you.
God bless you.
Charity
I loss my son on his wedding day he was married for 8 hour it’s been 10 years be it’s seem like yesterday. I miss him so much
May God keep you close and comfort you.
Charity.
Losing a first son at 6 weeks, several cousins, several aunts and uncles, a mother, a father, a mother in law and Husband of 50 years plus innumerable pets over 73 years? It CAN take it out of you but you can live. I’m proof. God’s still on his throne and Jesus Died for me. I’m hanging in there. Never never never never say quit. God is good all the time and all the time? God is good. Don’t forget to smile; someone might need it more than you.
What an inspiration you are. Keep trusting God.
God bless you.
Charity
I lost my husband 3 12 years ago yesterday. Today is my Birthday. I lost my father 33 years ago. They way I get through each day is to realize these men were there for me at my toughest times. The good Lord gave to me people who loved me unconditionally, and who could be strong when I couldn’t. I talk to them when I am lonely, scared, and sad. I miss them much, but know that they were there for me, and will be when it is my time.
Thank you so much for sharing that with us.
God loves you. May He bless you beyond measure.
Charity