Forgiveness Doesn’t Excuse Their Behavior

One of the most wonderful resources God gave us is the ability to forgive. But it is up to you if and how you use it.

Forgiveness doesn’t excuse their behavior.  Forgiveness prevents their behavior from destroying your heart.

You’ve all seen the quote, “Life is a circle of good times and bad times…”, right?  Life is a circle that holds all our experiences and relationships in a seamless, whole circle.  When someone hurts us, the circle has a nick in it, sometimes a fracture and sometimes the circle is broken.

Forgiveness is the way we heal the circle, forgiveness is the way we heal our heart.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean that we are forgiving only the person who hurt us.  Forgiveness means that we forgive ourselves, we forgive the situation that put us in the spot to be hurt…it means forgiving life itself for the hurts, the broken relationships, the wounded hearts.

I used to think that if I truly forgave someone, I had to let go of the behavior that caused the hurt.  I had to say “it’s okay” you did that.  But that is not it at all.  Forgiveness in no way excuses their behavior.  It does not say “it’s okay” you did that to me.

Forgiveness prevents their behavior from destroying your heart.  Forgiveness is very empowering.  Forgiveness is like a shield for your heart.  And it screams out to anyone who hurts you, “What you did was terrible, but I am FORGIVENESS and I protect this heart.  You can’t get in here!”

Forgiveness keeps your heart in love with life.  Forgiveness keeps your heart full of hope and love.  And forgiveness makes way for stronger, more loving relationships. Here at The Horse Mafia®, I pray daily that I will keep a forgiving heart, no matter what happens. I believe it is truly necessary for my happiness and peace.

When you forgive someone who has wronged you, you take away the power of the hurt.  Only then can you begin to heal.  Only then is your heart free enough to take on the healing process.  If you continue to be hurt, healing cannot begin.

It’s hard.  It’s so, so hard.  To forgive someone who has hurt you so much.  But would you rather be defined by your pain and anger or by your loving, forgiving, strong heart?  It’s easier to hold onto the hurt.  It takes strength and determination to forgive.  And it takes practice.

I will tell you the one thing that has helped me be able to forgive:  prayer.  Sometimes you can be hurt so much and you are so angry that you can’t wrap your head around forgiveness.  I understand that.  I’ve been there.  Pray.  Get somewhere and pray.  Cry it out.  Ask God to make your heart forgiving.  And if it takes praying every day for months, or even years, do it.

Forgiveness removes bitterness, anger and pain.  It makes you much happier along this beautiful ride called “Life.”

Blessings of forgiveness and love to you from Sterrett, Alabama!

Charity M. Richey-Bentley